So annoying! I self harmed this morning, because I needed to go out to appointments and such, by myself. But I didn’t realise I had run out of suture material! So I had to ring up my doctors office and see if I could get an appointment. They had no doctors in, so they sent me to the urgent doctors instead.
I hate going anywhere to get stitched up, especially places like the urgent doctors or emergency department, because they don’t know me and immediately freak out about my mental state. The doctor tried to ask me a hundred questions about why I self harmed, whats been going on lately for me, am I feeling suicidal, was this cut a suicide attempt blah blah blah. All the while, I am trying to convince her that its all normal for me, the only reason I am here is that I ran out of sutures, that I saw my team today, and they know about my self harming etc etc. But she was still all panicky.
They rung the crisis team, but thankfully I didn’t have to see them or anything. Because that would have meant waiting for ages and ages all for a very pointless few words with them. I got let home as long as I put the crisis number in my phone in front of her. Whew.
It was relatively amusing after the doctor had finished suturing, and left the nurse to dress it. The nurse was amazed that all the other sutures in my legs had been done by me. She said “how did you learn how to suture so beautifully??!”, and after putting some steri strips on parts of the wound that were not completely held together by the sutures, she whispered – “I think you are way better at suturing than the doctor!”. I’m not gonna lie, it felt pretty good 😛
So anyway, after a very long and tiring, and to be honest quite stressful day – I am finally home. Completely had it, and ready to blob and watch The Big Bang Theory.